Bare bottom, say hello to subzero porcelain. This meeting will not go well, nor will it feel very pleasant.
If comfortable, heated toilet seats haven’t been invented yet, I have a bone to pick with someone. Whatever nerd is running Apple now, it’s about time you introduce the iPotty. If they have been invented, well, then someone send me the prototype. ‘Cause my bum is tired of so many non-warm welcomes.